Every post I have read on ADHD gives different advice. Use medication, don’t use medication. Change their diet. Get them on a plan at school, but don’t label them! Just trying to discern what is best for your own child has a major impact on your own mental health. In my initial research, there were three pieces of advice I found useful.
- Praise your child as much and as often as you can. They hear negative comments meant to correct their behavior too often. For their own mental health, they need to hear the positive too.
- Take care of yourself. You have to, period. There is no way to have patience for your child if you are running on empty.
- Learn as much as you can. It is a lot easier to deal with a behavior when you understand it.
It was these three pillars that I decided to build this blog around, the three areas I plan to write posts about. Hopefully, you can find value in one or all of these areas.
Praise
I find that in my roles as a teacher and parent, I find this more difficult than I should. I praise children when they go above and beyond what is expected of them. Praising expected behavior does not come naturally to me and I need to work at it. I expect my children to sit at the dinner table and eat without getting up, touching their siblings, etc. I know this is an area that is difficult for both of my boys and a time of day when my emotional control is on low battery. Since I expect it, I have a hard time praising it. But here’s the thing, I KNOW that praise works better than consequences for most kids in general, but especially for those with ADHD. When they get that positive reinforcement it gives them a dopamine surge and they want to feel that again. I have seen it happen over and over, so why is it so difficult for me? This is something that I am making a conscious effort to do.
Part of praise to me is connecting with my children. That is getting tougher the older they get, especially with the 12-year-old tween. I am constantly searching for ways to connect that are enjoyable for both of us. Finding those moments for connection is so important.
Self Care
Again, why is this so hard? This can look so many different ways and be so simple but may be one of the hardest things for a mom to accomplish. This isn’t just a one-and-done, it needs to be incorporated into every single day. Just sitting here writing this is self-care for me, it is getting my thoughts straight so that they are not swirling around in my head and causing chaos. This will be an ever-growing list of ideas, some that will work and others that will not. Each mama needs to decide what recharges her batteries.
Learn
With so much on the internet, this is more difficult than it sounds. The first time I looked up ADHD and nutrition, I was taken to a site that said kids with ADHD should not have sugar, gluten, corn, soy, artificial dyes, or anything processed. I almost cried. While I’m sure that those statements are credible, that was a battle I was just not willing to fight. So while Pinterest is great for finding information, I encourage you to take it with a grain of salt. I am not an expert, and will never claim to be. While I may try to share some strategies, that does not mean they will work for everyone. Look for professionals that you can trust and take their advice, for us, it is therapists, doctors, and counselors. Find books that are backed by scientific research (but even then, not everything will apply to your child).
So these are my initial plans for this blog, but you know what they say about making plans… I hope to evolve as a person, as a mother, and as I teacher through this experience of writing. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
