In the lively chaos of a sunny afternoon, I observed my enthusiastic kid as he transformed the serene interior of a once-orderly house into a whirlwind of creativity and joy. I love that he got himself a snack without asking me to get it for him. I don’t love that he left the wrapper on the counter and a smear of pudding on the counter. I love that he got out the snap circuits and created a “factory.” I don’t love that he left said factory on the counter and refused to put it away because he was saving it for eternity. I believe that this is an issue for many moms and dads, but it is especially difficult while parenting a child with ADHD.
My kiddo can not focus on all the things and it’s unfair for me to expect him to, but how do I not go insane as I pick up his coat from the ground for the hundredth time?
Reduce
The less stuff there is, the less there is to put away. Of course, this is not a one-time deal. It is a constant and ongoing project. What does your child actually play with? What would they play with if it were more visible? Then there is the inevitable argument when they realize that you are about to give away their favorite toy of all time (that they haven’t played with in over a year).
One thing that I have changed over time is I used to have certain toys that were bedroom toys, some that were basement toys, and some that were kept in our main living space. I spent a lot of time moving toys around based on interests, organizing, reorganizing, and reorganizing again. Then basement toys were in bedrooms and living room toys were in the basement and no one could find anything. Now, everything is in the basement and it all goes back to the basement. So when the question arises, “Mom, where is (fill in the blank)?” I can always respond, “It’s in the basement!”
Everything has a place
Once you have reduced the amount of stuff in your house, it’s time to ensure there is a place to put everything away. If it doesn’t have a place that it belongs, it becomes a burden or even worse, a lost item that your child just “needs” right now, and how on earth do you not know where it is, mom?
Do you know how I talked about having all the toys in the basement? That doesn’t mean that toys don’t get played with in different areas of the house. It just means that they all go back to the basement because that is their place and everything has a place. Here is my solution for toys that end up in different places: baskets. I have a basket in the area where toys may be played with and when we are done playing, they go in the basket. Now, my preference would be that the toys go back to “their place” right away, but I try to be realistic. The basket is a good workaround. One of the kid’s chores each week is to empty the baskets into the correct places in the basement. Voila! Everything is back in its place!
Make a plan
We have a plan for everything. The thing is, you can’t make all the plans at one time and expect your child to remember them all. It is important to pick one thing that is driving you the most nuts, make a plan for it, and practice that plan until it is successful. One plan we have been successful with is our nighttime plan. We talked about what needed to be done, wrote it out (it’s always way more steps than you think it is going to be), and practiced, practiced, practiced. Along the way, we had to tweak things. We had to add the step of throwing clothes in the hamper and not on the floor and using a timer to keep track of how long he was brushing his teeth, but we got there in the end. One plan we have not figured out yet, is what we do when we walk in the door from being our (at school, at sports, wherever). The mudroom is not functional and I have not hashed out all the steps to that plan and how we need to change the physical space in order to accommodate all of those steps. But notice that I said we have not figured it out YET. We will get there one day!
What do you do to control the mess in your house?
